Fix moderncsqlite errors and rebase onto main (#2832)

This is #2819 but rebased on latest `main`. This PR is against main too
as opposed to the `moderncsqlite` branch.

The main change here is simply:

```go
// add query parameters to the dsn
if strings.Contains(dsn, "?") {
	dsn += "&"
} else {
	dsn += "?"
}

// wait some time before erroring if the db is locked
// https://gitlab.com/cznic/sqlite/-/issues/106#note_1058094993
dsn += "_pragma=busy_timeout%3d10000"
```

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* [x] I have added tests for PR _or_ I have justified why this PR
doesn't need tests.
* [x] Pull request includes a [sign off below using a legally
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name](https://matrix-org.github.io/dendrite/development/contributing#sign-off)
_or_ I have already signed off privately

Signed off privately.

Co-authored-by: Neil Alexander <neilalexander@users.noreply.github.com>

test/db.go

@@ -176,7 +176,7 @@ func WithAllDatabases(t *testing.T, testFn func(t *testing.T, db DBType)) {
 	for dbName, dbType := range dbs {
 		dbt := dbType
 		t.Run(dbName, func(tt *testing.T) {
-			tt.Parallel()
+			//tt.Parallel()
 			testFn(tt, dbt)
 		})
 	}